


Hurt

by wolfsbanex



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Canon, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Insecurities, Jealousy, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Non AU, Tooth Rotting Fluff, they are just really whipped for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfsbanex/pseuds/wolfsbanex
Summary: Yuta doesn’t try to show it, but Sicheng rejecting his affection does hurt him. A lot.





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE!  
> \- a shit ton of fluff, enjoy! :)

It has always been like this. Yuta is the one reaching out to his boyfriend, initiating skinship or pressing quick kisses to the younger boys cheek. Sicheng always shoves him off with an annoyed look. Yuta looks at Sicheng beside him, admires the way the light of the soft box in front of them hits his face and how silky his hair looks. The other members are chatting happily into the camera. Sicheng smiles softly at Haechan who is leaning into Marks side, making kissing faces at the older boy.

Yuta takes that as a good sign to extend his hand towards Sicheng, gently carding his fingers through his hair. The youngers smile slips from his lips. Yutas hand wanders down his face, until he notices that Sicheng is staring at him with a frown. The japanese male winks flirtatiously before leaning in with pouty lips. He pretends that it doesn’t hurt when Sicheng pushes him away to cling to Taeil instead.

Yuta feels his heart contract painfully, a deep burning crack tearing through his heart. He could taste something sour on his tongue. Yuta was jealous. _How come he likes to cuddle with others, but if i try to he starts to avoid me or shove me off like i have some contagious disease? I’m his boyfriend, dammit!_ , Yuta thinks and crosses his arms in front of his chest. „I’m sick and tired of this!“ he huffs out, glancing around to make sure nobody heard. He’s proven false when he catches Haechans eyes staring back at him.

When the members return to the dorms, all worn-out and sleepy, Yuta hurriedly walks into his room, shrugging off his clothes to change into his sleep clothes and slipping into bed. He bites his lower lip, desperately trying to ignore the tears building up in his eyes. Yuta stops breathing when the door to his room opens, softly closed a few seconds after. Small steps are walking towards him. He doesn’t want to see Sicheng, he might burst into tears if he does.„Hyung?“ that’s not Sichengs voice. Haechan is kneeling in front of Yutas bed, taking Yutas hand into his own. „What’s wrong Haechanie?“ Yuta asks, fondly smiling at the younger boy. „You’re sad, hyung. What is going on between you and Sicheng hyung?“ Yuta sighs. Haechan always cared too much. He cared more than Sicheng did, his brain tells him.

„I think…i think we’re going to break up, Haechan.“ the younger gasps, staring at Yuta with wide eyes. „What? no! you two belong together, hyung why would you-…“ Yuta lets out a small laugh before letting his face fall, a tear rolling down his cheek.

„We just drifted apart i guess. He has always been distant, i know that, i thought i would be able to handle it but i throw my heart at his feet just for him to stomp on it again and again. I’m tired, Haechan. I can’t keep showing my affection for him and getting nothing in return. Don’t you think i deserve someone who at least shows his love for me a little?“ Yuta is full on sobbing by now, having pulled Haechan onto the bed next to him. Haechan softly pets Yutas hair, his hyungs head in his lap.

„Listen, hyung, Marks and mines relationship isn’t balanced either. I’m way more affectionate than he is, but at the end of the day when i fall asleep in his arms i just know. I know he loves me. Isn’t that enough for you?“ says Haechan, looking down at Yuta with a sad glimmer in his tired brown eyes.

„I thought it is, but no Haechan. I want to be loved openly. Does Sicheng even care?“ and Haechan has no answer to this, so he slips off Yutas lap and pulls him down, snuggling into his hyungs arms. „Sleep, Yuta hyung. After you wake up everything will be alright again.“

It is, in fact, not alright. Yuta avoids Sicheng like the plague and the chinese boy is left to look after his boyfriend like a lost puppy. „Did i do something?“ he asks Taeyong, but the leader just shrugs, an equally confused look on his face. „I’ll go talk to him.“ Sicheng says, getting a comforting squeeze on his shoulder from Taeyong.

„Yuta?“ Sicheng carefully steps into the bedroom. His boyfriend is sitting at his table, headphones on his head and concentrated look on his cute face. Sicheng giggles before walking up to him and slinging his arms around his shoulders, letting his chin rest on top of Yutas head. The older boy freezes in his hold, the headphones slipping from his head.

„What are you doing?“ Yuta asks, disbelief on his face. „Is it so weird for me to cuddle my boyfriend?“ Sicheng asks, raising his eyebrows at he older boy. Yuta grits his teeth. „Actually, yes, yes it fucking is!“

Yuta stands up, turning around so that he’s facing Sicheng. „You never show your love for me, never! you always shove me off, reject my kisses, don’t laugh at any of my jokes or even act like i exist most of the time! do you know how i feel? how i go to bed wondering if you even give a fuck about me or our relationship? how it literally rips my heart out to have my advances rejected just of you to cuddle with Taeil like he’s your boyfriend? you literally glow whenever you’re with the others, yet all you give me are annoyed looks. I’ve had enough Sicheng. Do you even realize that you never, even once told me that you love me in these two years that we’ve been dating?“

Sicheng swallows down the dry choking sobs which had been heaving up from his heart. „I’m sorry“, he whispers, not trusting his voice not to crack at any given moment, the weight of Yutas words so heavy that he feels like he could break underneath them.

„I know i should’ve showed my affection for you more“, tears start running down Sichengs face, „i know i should tell you what i feel. I don’t want to show skinship in vlives or other public events because you’re so much more than fanservice, Yuta. With the others i don’t mind because they’re friends, nothing more than friends and god i swear Taeil is just a friend, but you’re not! You really think i don’t care? because i do, i care so much that i can’t be overly affectionate because god Yuta, everybody has always left me in my life and i don’t think i could ever handle you leaving me behind…“

Yuta steps forward to place his hands on Sichengs cheeks, gently wiping away the tears, just to notice that there were streaks of tears running down his own face as well.

„I love you, Nakamoto Yuta. Being with you made me want to make my own dreams, discover my own path. You were the reason why i became who i am. I’ve always loved you, since the moment i first saw you standing in the practice room. You just turned around and smiled at me, so bright that you eclipsed everything else and i thought - yes, he’s definitely the one. Don't you understand? I want to spend my life with you. I want to be in your arms when i go to bed at night and when i wake up in the morning.“

Comfort came in and stood with an appearance of guilt and shame. Yuta has his head bent, his eyes soaked with tears, his hands and legs, vibrating like a guiter string as perspiration covered his entire body, he felt like disappearing into the thin air, maybe to another mind creating world.

„I was selfish, wasn’t i? i always pitied myself for giving too much, yet i never bothered to think about why you didn’t. I’m sorry, Sicheng. I love you, more than anything else in this world.“the chinese boy laughs, his eyes glistening. „It’s okay, now you know how i feel and we’ll do better, together, right?“ Yuta furiously nods, stepping into his boyfriends awaiting arms.

Yuta tunnels his hands through Sichengs hair and kissed him breathless. His neck, his eyes, the corners of his mouth. He kissed Sichengs lips as if his life depended on it. Kissed their future into him. Reminding him of all they were and all they could have later.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd be really thankful for kudos and comments!<3


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